So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It's official drugs can't kill me
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
