her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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