her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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