I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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