Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
