Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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