I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
