Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
