I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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