She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Randomize
