If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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