If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
