I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
