I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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