I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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