it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
