if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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