I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
