you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
only if we run a train.
done.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
