Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
