Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
