how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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