you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
