Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
