Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
