I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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