so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
