I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
