A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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