My hand turned me down
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Edward fifth and chaser hands
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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