I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He shit in the fireplace
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
