The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
