Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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