just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
