i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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