you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
