I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
