so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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