Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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