i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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