They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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