So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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