Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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