I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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