I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
