did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just found puke in my bra..
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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