Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
They have beer where we have blood.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
