There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
