i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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