You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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