he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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