we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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